You know you are pregnant when. . .

you are woken up in the middle of the night by your child, and after going back to bed realize you might die if you don't eat. So, you eat a bowl of cereal in the dark at 4:00 in the morning, followed by a cookie and still go to bed thinking that maybe you should have made some eggs or something.

We ARE Thankful.

I feel bad I missed doing a Thanksgiving post this year, but the week of Thanksgiving didn't go quite how I had planned. To begin Shad got the flu, horribly, for the first time. He was fine earlier in the day and then just as my aunt, uncle, cousin and her husband showed up to visit shortly he started to act weird. He was very listless and started to get pale but had no fever and I thought maybe he didn't feel well but never suspected the explosion of vomit that followed. . .all over the living room, Shad, and myself. Because we were both covered in it and not quite sure what to do I ended up stripping him down to his diaper and wrapping him in a blanket. My wonderful aunt and uncle immediately started to clean the vomit from the living room and now the hall. They are amazing. I didn't even have the presence of mind to grab a bowl, so when he vomited again, it was just all over the blanket. Fortunately, Joy thought to hand me a bowl. I was pretty well in shock. It continued every fifteen or twenty minutes with dirty diapers just as frequently for four hours. Finally we called the doctor and they told us to take him into the ER. Fortunately, he just had to have some Zofran, no IV's or anything and we spent a lot of time waiting while he slept and ate some crackers and ice chips ( he LOVED the ice chips) and slept some more. He was still extremely lethargic the next day and didn't eat at all so we were pretty concerned about whether we should go out of town. Wednesday morning we were suppose to leave and he ate breakfast, so we decided to go ahead with our plans stopping in St George for the night.

Unfortunately, I spent that night throwing up. The next day we finished the drive and I spent the afternoon sleeping while Dan and Shad ate Thanksgiving with his family. I understood why Shad hadn't eaten at all Tuesday, even knowing I needed nutrition could barely get me to eat the soup my in-laws were so kind to make me. Friday I got up pretty early and headed to my aunt's house where I spent the day making seven pies, two kinds of rolls, a veggie tray and a salad with my sisters and aunt. Truthfully, I just did pie, but hey, they knew to expect that from me, and no one was complaining when it came time for dessert. Sadly, I still couldn't eat much and only had a little sliver of a couple kinds. In fact, I am pretty sure this was the first Thanksgiving of my life that I didn't eat pie for breakfast the next day. My entire family on my dad's side except my aunt Wendy who was sick and two of her children along with my older brother Ryan and my uncle Jeff and Aunt Kris's family were all there. They were all very keenly missed. It was so sweet of the Burninghams to want to make it a special holiday for us since it was the first major holiday without our parents. They were definitely missed and thought of as we used recipe after recipe of our mom's and were surrounded by my dad's family. However, it was a perfect reminder of how incredibly grateful I am for the family I have, my family's health, and most importantly for the gospel of Jesus Christ, his atonement and my knowledge that I will be with my parents again. So, my heart was truly full of Thanksgiving although I didn't get it expressed.

Happy 60th Birthday Dad!!!

Today would have been my dad's sixtieth birthday, so I couldn't let it pass without a post about him. My Dad was one of the very hardest working people I know. He was a perfectionist in every way and demanded the same from others. I remember often how disappointed he would be in me for getting grades lower than he knew I was capable of. He felt he wasn't overly naturally intelligent and wondered at how people he felt were smarter could lack his drive and still not accomplish what he did. He gave his education, his family, his religion and his dental practice absolutely everything he had. Even when it meant weekly trips to a deep tissue massage therapist just to keep him working. Despite very serious chronic back pain he tried to enjoy everything life had to offer as much as he could, including water-skiing, snow-skiing, snow-mobiling etc, long after the doctors told him he would need to have surgery just to continue working as a dentist. Dad never forgot his small town roots and hearing him talk about growing up farming and running wild or riding his horse all over town made me wish I could have grown up with him. Despite facing challenges in his childhood he talked about it in such a way it seemed like a dreamland. Dad loved animals and could still name his childhood dogs and talked often about "Patches", the horse he owned until he left on his mission. In that way, Dad and I were cut from the same cloth. He understood when I talked to my dog in baby talk or chatted non-stop about being out at the barn or riding. He always told me it was in my genes and he was right, I got it from him. I love that I'm not afraid to get dirty and spent my high school years dreaming of driving a pick-up because of him. It is the part of my personality I love the most. Despite his love for animals he always pretended to dislike our childhood cat and later the dog, but considering they were the first ones he said hello to after a long day at work it was pretty clear how he really felt.

Dad loved talking to people, to the point he talked to anyone anywhere. However, he had a terrible time with names. Dad seemed to know someone everywhere we went, and if he happened to be wrong he got to know them pretty quickly. My dad loved his faith and his favorite experiences to talk about were when he got to share the gospel of Jesus Christ with others, he was brave and shameless and a terrific example of living what you believe. He loved having gospel discussions and was a deep thinker often asking tough questions. He had an entire file cabinet full of articles, scriptures etc in files relevant to topics he had studied and was constantly seeking more knowledge. He also loved science and loved to talk bugs and pathology and other subjects from my college and work experience. He was the only person who could appreciate a crazy case I had worked on or would laugh and want to know more if I texted a picture of a dog with it's eyeball popped out. He was also the only person who agreed that "preg-checking" a cow was cool.

Dad had an enormous appreciate for the freedom we enjoy in the United States and would get teary-eyed any time he talked to a war veteran, especially those who served in WW II like his own father. He admired their courage and resolve and their willingness to make the ultimate sacrifice. Despite this he couldn't get himself to shoot the squirrels living in his roof and began trapping and releasing them. He had a streak of the hypochondriac in him and several Christmas Eve's were interrupted by someone needing to go to the emergency room. Despite this, when I fell and bit through my lower lip when I was six years old, he calmly drove me to his office and stitched me up, he had complete confidence in his own field. When I had a birth mark removed in college however, he had the entire family praying for my "probable malignancy"- it was completely benign. Dad loved being with people and loved the people he worked with even if he may have been a difficult boss. He was a tough Dad too, but only because he saw our potential and expected us to reach it. He firmly believed in hard work. Growing up I remember several summers spent getting up at what seemed to be the crack of dawn to "move the wood pile" We must have moved it six times, although after we got older and busier he was content to let it sit. I think he just wanted to make us work. Most of us kids "cleaned the office" for our first job. I think Aubrey started at the age of four and got paid a whopping $1.25/hr. However, as we continued the job through high-school he took it seriously. If we didn't get the Saturday cleaning done we had to get up at four-thirty Monday morning to do it before school and patients. We were expected to be reliable but also "Keep the Sabbath Day Holy."

He liked playing a game he called "growlie bear" where we would hide in the house in the dark and whoever was the bear came to find you, when you were found you were suppose to growl. I usually hid near a bathroom since the game scared me so bad there was no guarantee I wouldn't need a potty break. I also remember his "game" of saying he was counting to ten and anything left on the floor was going to DI, he meant it. Dad was hard-nosed but ironically let the house become a party when mom was out of town. I think he just didn't know how to manage without her.

He was absolutely faithful and loved our Mom, he made sure we knew it too. Dad loved music, and as a drummer felt, "the louder the better" although he was a softy for songs like, "Lady in Red," "Wonderful Tonight," "Have I Told You Lately That I Love You," "Bridge Over Troubled Water" Etc. He always wished he had a nicer singing voice and once even asked a friend to write a love song for mom for him. Dad was also a great dancing thanks to the years of dance lessons his mother forced him to take with his younger sister. The only trouble with dancing with him was that he expected you to know how to dance too. Mom and Dad would consider it a real treat if they got to go out to dinner and dancing at "Black Angus" when we were growing up. Dad also loved any wedding with a band because it meant he got to cut loose a little. Dad also loved anything with an engine and rebuilt snowmobile trailers, mini-bikes, go-carts etc with different garage sale parts and usually a can of red spray paint. Even if it meant the edger was unusable because it's engine was now in a go-cart. He loved motorcycles and would tell us, "hands over your hearts," any time we passed a "hog" or would simply inform us, "here come the brethren." He loved riding with my mom and would proudly talk about how she was the best motorcycle passenger he knew. Since he had been riding since he was fourteen, he would know. He always said he wanted to be buried with "Harvey", his first motorcycle, and in part he was. We placed the tail-light in his casket, a shining beacon for the rest of the family to follow. Dad was never afraid to forge his own path and stay true to what he believed. So, tonight, as four German-Chocolate Cakes are baked and we remember his love and his life I say "Happy Birthday" to one of the greatest men I will ever know. I love you Dad.

Happy Halloween

It’s been a bit spooky at our house this Autumn

We’ve been off just a bit, rather ornery and rotten

You’ve wondered perhaps if we are cursed

I’ve been a witch, the absolute worst.

I can’t lose this feeling that I’m not alone,

There is certainly something afoot in our home.

Not a ghost or black cat or trick will explain it

We’ve been keeping a little bit of a secret

Its not candy or apples or a Halloween treat

But two little hands and two tiny feet

Will be joining our house the beginning of June

When Shad’s younger sibling arrives with a BOO!

Happy Birthday Mom!

I know a lot of my posting has had to do with my parents recently, but I couldn't let today pass without a note about my mom. She would have turned fifty-five today, and I imagine would have spent the evening having dinner with family and good friends. She probably would have had a lunch date with a few certain women yesterday or tomorrow, and there is a good chance it would have involved Fetuccini Alfredo. I just wanted to take a moment to share a few thoughts about the great women, I always knew as mom. She loved junk food, this women's sweet-tooth was insane and led to candy and chocolate being hidden in all sorts of places such as pots and pans and the back of the file cabinet. The wife of a dentist. . .go figure. She loved to decorate, but said she only knew how to do it on a budget and rarely strayed from her long time partners in crime, Ross's and TJ's. She had studied interior design in college and designed both the house I was raised in and my dad's dental office- she had a great talent few people were ever aware of and she got little credit for. She wasn't afraid to admit her faults, but more importantly she wasn't ashamed to admit her strengths, I appreciated that example of taking credit for your good attributes as well. She was strong willed and firm in her convictions regardless how unpopular they might be, but she was also tender and vulnerable and a true friend. She never went anywhere without lipstick- usually three or four shades darker than anyone else would dare to wear, and yet she somehow managed to pull it off. Despite always looking fabulous she could go from pajamas to perfect in less than ten minutes, and (she would kill me for this . . .) that included shaving her legs everyday. She had a secret thing for velour jumpsuits and loungewear sets, that almost led to her buying multiples of the same one before Brandi and I could stop her this last Christmas. I have never seen my mother without toe-nail polish, I've never even seen it chipped. Black, white and fuschia or red will always make me think of mom, and that women loved her bling and acessories! She had a slightly adventurous streak- most likely developed from dragging five kids to do things most people wouldn't imagine doing with two. I remember her telling me she had to figure out how to get out with all of us, because she would have gone crazy otherwise. She loved to read but rarely got a minute to really enjoy a book. She could cook and sew and sing, although cleaning wasn't one of her top priorities. I inherited her need for things to be tidy enough, but not necessarily anywhere close to lick the floor clean. She let little things go, like letting us ruin cookie batch after cookie batch when we felt like baking on our own or letting us ice skate on the kitchen floor and down the back hall. This involved soap and a lot of water and should have involved punishment but she just let us live it up. She made a huge deal out of birthdays and holidays and would always get our favorite cereal since we grew up on Cheerio's, Special K, Grape-Nuts, Shredded Wheat etc. She loved choir music and enjoyed local theater and musicals. For her birthday a few years ago my sisters and I went with her to Vegas to see Celine Dion, despite being horribly sick she did her best to enjoy the trip and provided us with memories we will cherish for a life time. Since we were all married, I was shocked at how much she opened up about previously taboo subjects and let her guard down. She hated to see us not reach our potential and wanted us to shoot for the stars, although she was also so afraid to see us get hurt if we failed. Most of all she dearly loved her family and friends and being with people. She loved a full house with good food more than anything else. I am saddened to think of the party or get-together not happening for her on this earth, but grateful to know she is with past loved ones and that my dad is still by her side and have faith that she had a great day without any mortal cares.

I love you Mom, Happy Birthday!

St George Marathon

Last weekend was quite an adventure. Dan and three of his siblings, Micah, David and Myndi all ran the St. George Marathon together. It was quite an experience to have them all do it and took some serious convincing on Micah and David's part but. . . they did it. The kids were all pretty patient waiting for there parents to come in and entertained themselves on this curb.

Yes it was hot, and yes Shad did spill that whole bottle of water.

It had been up for debate who would be the first to come in. Turned out it was super-planner detail-oriented, finance guy Micah. His dedication and determined approach paid off and he led the family in.

Dan came in next and surprised me by getting his best time ever despite some serious lapses in training and lack of proper preparation. His knee had been bothering him for a few weeks and I was just thrilled to see him run up with a smile on his face and not hobbling.

Don't mind that lady. . .

I missed seeing David run in because I was trying to meet Dan at the finish line, but he did awesome, especially since they have a brand new baby and this was his first marathon.

I used to get kissed at the finish line. . . so many things change after kids, sigh.

Myndi left us wondering for a while, but apparently had a last minute potty break that made her start the race significantly later than the rest of the family. The veteran marathoner ran in with a grin and a good pace. They all seemed pretty pleased to have done the race together and felt good about their personal race and the experience. I was so glad it was positive for everyone and there were no injuries or disappointments.

If they decide to do it again we will probably coordinate meeting up better because wandering around the finish line four different times was a bit crazy. You don't realize how dependant you are on a cell phone until you don't have one and are trying to find someone in a crazy mob of people, most of which prefer the bland and difficult to see runners attire of a white shirt and black shorts. Thanks Myndi, for being a little more visible!

The rest of the weekend was spent celebrating David, Micah and Brooklyn's birthdays as well as David's graduation with his Master's and Kennedy's baby blessing. It was an event and family packed weekend but we were grateful to spend time with Dan's family and celebrate all the great things going on in their lives. Shad had a great time with his cousins and we look forward to seeing everyone during Christmas.

VISITORS!!!

Brandi, Myself and Jeanna wearing the necklace my mom was wearing the day they were killed, we all bought each other one as well as one for my aunt Kris who was also with them at the time of the accident.

We have been so lucky since moving to have so many visitors. We have had more people come to specifically see us in the last two months then perhaps the rest of our marriage combined. Granted, this being the first time we have lived away we saw people at combined events and visits quite frequently.

The beginning of this month was pretty crazy with visitors. My sister, Brandi, and her three kids came to visit and surprised me by bringing along my Aunt Jeanna. Neither of them could get over how dark it was here and had driven through the National Forest and Indian Reservation at night on a night with no moon. They were glad to make it here in one piece after feeling so disoriented by the complete blackness. We had a good time just playing at the park and hanging out at our house the first few nights they were here. The cousins were surprisingly quite excited to all play together and did pretty well considering our house isn't plush accommodations. We explored downtown Flagstaff and enjoyed the boutiques etc without losing any of the kids. We had dinner all together at our house Wednesday night and were looking forward to a fun evening together. Dan had even taken all of the kids to get ice-cream from the store. We were dishing up and planning to watch a movie when Dan's tooth chipped, significantly. This was pretty emotional for me considering we have never had a dental emergency in our life, but had always had a great dentist on hand had we needed one, and now I didn't have any idea what to do. It unfortunately put a damper on the evening, but fortunately Dan was able to get into a dentist the next day and it worked out. The next day my uncle Gary drove in from Vegas to pick up my aunt and spent the afternoon and evening with us. They treated us to a great meal where we were introduced to their creative ways of entertaining themselves involving trying to catch a coaster you throw with your eyes closed while waiting for your food. Everyone then came over to visit at our house again. We made cookies and watched a John Wayne movie, which the kids actually enjoyed despite any of our expectations. Gary had picked it up after my nephews admitted they had no idea who John Wayne was, this was unacceptable and had to be fixed. . .thus we all watched McKlintock! both an educational and entertaining experience. It was great to see them and to enjoy some time together and share where we live now with them.

Everyone left Friday morning and then I tried to tidy the house before my good friend Becca flew in that night. We stayed up late talking and then Saturday morning we all headed over to the Arboretum. It is a really pretty place in the middle of nowhere. One more reason to love our Subaru. . .the road to the Arboretum was dirt for about three miles. . .it's that far out there. We had a nice time looking around at the trees, flowers and fountains and were able to watch the bird show with a vulture and a few different types of hawks. Shad's favorite part in this order; the lizards, the fish in the ponds, getting away from the birds he was afraid of. I loved the architecture of the older building with the ivy growing on the stone walls etc. You could picture sleeping beauty living there with the fairies.

Shad is smiling because Becca is taking the picture, trust me. . .

Don't let his expression fool you, he doesn't want you to know he has a crush on her.

Saturday night Dan watched Shad while Becca and I did some shopping. Becca pointed out this was dangerous because I had just been shopping and knew where all of the cute stuff is but don't have money to spend, she on the other hand does. So, I did a great job helping her go a little crazy and didn't feel the least bit guilty. We then went and got Mexican food for dinner. It was so fun to be able to go out just the two of us and enjoy a meal that required no cooking, cleaning up, or watching Shad. Dan made fun of us for being home early, but I didn't want to take advantage of his generosity. Sunday we went to church. Becca was great at entertaining Shad during Sacrament meeting and it was a welcome relief. Shad loves this girl, despite only seeing her a few times in his life, he has always warmed right up to her and been totally himself. It helps she has no kids yet and still has that "fun aunt that doesn't do this every day" vibe. Sunday we took it easy hanging around the house and then proceeded to turn on a movie that we all ignored. Monday morning came too soon and Becca headed home, but we had such a great time with all of our visitors and appreciate their willingness to come all this way.

The vulture, Shad was definitely not a fan.

Little Adventures

Today I felt pretty adventurous. I decided to take Solo and Shad on a little hike by myself just a few minutes from our house. This wouldn't be such a big deal except that Solo is terrible off-leash and I don't trust him. I don't mind going with Dan because I figure if we lose the dog then, he can be in charge of catching him. And honestly, what is the point of taking your dog hiking if you are going to make him stay on a leash, right? I decided this day though, that if Solo took off, there wouldn't be much I could do alone with a two-year-old and hopefully he wouldn't get hit by a car on the busy road or get dog-napped. . . we needed to get out of the house that badly. I also decided to take Shad's bike, this is his new favorite way to go on a hike, mountain-biking. He loves it and it actually motivates him to go a little faster so we can take a bit more normal pace as opposed to two-year-old hiking pace. Incredibly Shad and Solo were both perfect and we all enjoyed our time outside enjoying the pretty scenery and the solitude just a two minutes drive from our front door. I was so pleased with myself for just going for it and when a soft-serve ice cream cone came to mind, I figured I would take Shad to get a cone for the first time. I am plenty aware this is not his first ice-cream-cone, but it is the first time I have taken him to get one. The fact he kept saying ice-cream and was very excited proved the fact he had done this before. I made the terrible discovery that I didn't have my wallet, but luckily you only need just over a dollar to get two fifty cent cones, and I found the change in the car between the time I ordered and was suppose to pay. It was such a fun little adventure for us and reminded me of the rare times my mom would take us for a treat like that. I never had a happy meal as a kid but I remember stopping at A&W for lunch when we had to take Dustin to some classes out in Monmouth. Also, when we got older and would get fast food on car trips or after shopping etc my Mom was willing to go to three different fast food places just to make sure we all got what we wanted. She was a firm believer in home-cooked meals, but when she decided to splurge she made sure we were all happy. I was happily enjoying my ice cream and reminiscing when I reached for my phone to call and tell my mom how much I loved Flagstaff and where we live. It was a bitter dose of reality when I caught myself just before dialing, but in a way I was glad to realize I had been in a good enough mood to have just wanted to chat with Mom. It was a reminder that despite the heartache and loneliness of wishing they were still here, we can still enjoy the littlest things in life and they can also help me remember them. Thinking about those little things my parents enjoyed reminded me of so many other things that will always make me think of them, vanilla ice-cream, Dots, Mountain Man Candy, Yogurt covered raisins, air-popped popcorn and the list goes on and on. I was grateful for a fun afternoon with my son and dog and the little reminder that my parents are an enormous part of who I am and I don't need to worry that I will forget them, they live in me.

Tribute to Mom and Dad

Picture of my parents hours before they died.

Unlike my mother who excelled in school, my father was not a great student. In fact despite meeting mom at BYU he should never have been enrolled there. He was accepted because the school had accidentally been sent the wrong test scores, a fact my dad was actually pretty proud of. After all, it is one thing to get in somewhere; it is a whole different thing to do it when you weren’t supposed to. Typical Randy, he liked sneaking past policy. Despite working hard and having absolute confidence in his ability to become a top dentist he was not recommended as a candidate to interview with the dental schools that came to recruit at BYU. Following his heart and unfazed by the critics who told him he would never make it he spent his last dime flying to Texas and demanding an interview at Baylor. Mom had complete confidence as well and never questioned this decision. She was always his number one fan and biggest supporter. The trip was a success and provided them with experiences they would talk about for the rest of their lives.

With his acceptance to school came other challenges. Dad worked 2-3 jobs while going to school full time and spent every available moment with his family including holding Ryan and Brandi as babies while they slept and dad studied. Meanwhile, mom worked from home, managed the house, took care of two children and stayed up all hours helping dad study. As the wife of a student for the last eight years I can appreciate the teamwork this required. Come graduation my dad placed his cap on my mother’s head acknowledging she deserved the diploma as much as him. The gesture was meaningful enough that talking about it still made my mother cry just weeks ago as my father insisted my husband and I recreate it. With graduation came more uncertainty. Mom and dad struggled with the decision of where to establish a practice and raise their family. Dad was a simple farm boy from Utah and mom’s family was far from Provo, a distance made only greater by the international border that separated their families. While visiting Oregon during this time our father felt inspired to call the Stake President listed in the phone book. During their conversation President Papworth told my Father he wasn’t sure why but he felt strongly my parents were suppose to be in Oregon. Dad, felt the same way and with unwavering faith in our Loving Heavenly Father and his desire for us to be happy they followed this counsel and settled in this community over thirty years ago.

Once again Mom and Dad took a leap of faith and moved with their two young children to an area they hardly knew anything about. They began a humble dental practice where our mother was both the receptionist and the assistant and dad did his own hygiene because he couldn’t afford to pay a hygienist. Over the years the business grew and they became deeply involved in church, school and most of all their family as Myself, Dustin and Aubrey quickly completed the family in three short years. I always felt a special bond with my dad since he was the doctor who delivered me. He loved to write the same thing in my birthday cards generally followed with an apology for supposedly dropping me on my head. I am pretty sure he was joking. Dad taught us incredible work ethic and integrity as he strove to provide the very best dentistry he was capable of. His desire to improve his skills and continually keep up with technology meant he was always introducing revolutionary care and had recently completed enough continuing education to cover the next five years. He demanded excellence from his staff and expected perfection from himself. His success was due to his persistence for top-level care and an incredible staff, some of whom worked with him for nearly two decades. Mom was the glue behind the scenes; managing the office and creating an office family that included bring homemade meals for celebrations and shedding tears during times of Heartache. Whenever mom didn’t answer her phone we would call the office knowing we had a good chance of catching her there. If not, one of the girls would answer and recognizing our caller ID ask if we were looking for mom or wondering if Dad was with a patient. Often these conversations included catching up with each other as mom kept us caught up after we all moved away. Often they would know more about vacation plans or if my mom was already in town before I did. If she wasn’t there she was most likely getting her hair done or scanning for bargains at Ross’s or TJ’s.

Mom had studied interior design in college and had a flair for decorating on a budget. She could transform a room with less than fifty dollars if you were willing to spend three weeks in the stores looking through every item. Visiting her sister often meant countless hours at DI, decorating and hysterical laughter. Mom also loved to read and shared this with us from an early age. I remember being lined up in my parents bed with all of my siblings at the age of four as mom read Ann of Green Gables while we were recovering from chicken pox. She loved to take care of people and would stay up all hours talking with and getting to know our friends while serving us treats. She was also known to send us back to bed with a bowl of popcorn when we were little if we woke up late at night and she was making it for her and Dad. Mom went to every concert, performance or athletic event including cheering for her cheerleader. She was always happy to set an extra place at the table for friends and shared meals I still can’t cook quite the same despite the hundreds of Mid-cooking phone calls. I have fond memories of mom in her leggings and slippers making individualized lunches that continued through high school for us five kids and dad after she had been out walking with her friends. I was proud to catch myself becoming more like her as I canned her apple pie filling last summer in leggings.

Mom loved to water-ski and was a beautiful skier even last summer. Growing up she would even pull the boat up to the lake with five children for a day on the days dad was working or doing continuing education. She could drive a boat and more impressively she had won Dad over with her football game on their first date and the fact she could kick start his 1947 Harley Davidson when they were dating. A feat I watched him struggling with himself last summer. Mom also loved the winter Olympics and would set up the card table to do jigsaw puzzles or sew while watching figure skating or women’s gymnastics. She was an incredible seamstress who made bridesmaids dresses for three different weddings and several high school formals even if it meant combining three patterns and sewing you into your dress just as your date arrived. Her motto of better late than never and habit of procrastination to the point of panic are the only reasons I didn’t have her make my wedding dress. This last Christmas dad couldn’t wait to give her a clock that didn’t move pointed to the word “whatever”, he had resigned himself to the fact some things never change. Mom never spent a Christmas Eve without staying up all night, but she had a way of creating magic and spent months looking for the perfect gift. In fact, she was known for giving gifts beautifully wrapped with unique tags but having option ABC through Z in her closet. She also began looking for Christmas ornaments as early as February to add to the collection she began for each of us soon after they were married. Their first Christmas she had made salt-dough ornaments because they could didn’t own any and couldn’t afford any. Mom wanted to be sure we didn’t end up in the same situation, and tenderly gave us our collection as we married and moved away. My husband was shocked to see our first Christmas that I had no two ornaments the same as they each represented things we had done or accomplished that year and was shall we say, “less enthused”. However, it was something my siblings and I looked forward to each year and often saved it as the last gift to be opened. An ornament from mom will be dearly missed this December as they had such special significance.

Mom may never have realized though that the greatest gift was her Christ-like example. She set a standard so high I felt I could never measure up but her constant encouragement, testimony of the gospel and four years of prayers ensured I was able to experience the incredible joy of motherhood she had always felt. She gave me faith to overcome my fear and follow the Lord’s will. This enabled me to receive the greatest blessings of my life. I am grateful for the time we had to see them as grandparents even if all the rules were different. Despite being unable to mow the lawn or work without weekly visits to the massage therapist for the last fifteen years Dad happily wrestled with his grandchildren and even skimmer-boarded with them in Hawaii. When I dubiously asked if he would be able to walk the next day he simply said it didn't matter. Mom gave me a crash course when my son was born since I had previously never changed a diaper. I cherish the chance I have had to learn from her and will miss the chance to call when I need an ear to hear or someone to cry to. I will miss her poise, lipstick marks, Ross bargains, pocket-dials and most of all her sound advice. I will miss my father’s stories, our shared love of horses and his passion for dental and gospel discussions. I will never forgot dad’s enthusiasm to talk to anyone and everyone he met and the instant connection that left him feeling as though he had just made a new best friend as he planned vacation with someone he just met on an airplane.

Words can’t express the horrible shock and agony that accompanies the loss of our parents but because my parents taught their faith by living it I know that I can trust in god and still find greater happiness in this life than I could ever imagine. Mom and Dad understood, "it’s the journey not the destination". It was a beautiful ride, but the rides not over.

Mom and Dad's funeral.

okay, much longer post to be included later, however the funeral was beautiful and amazing and I still can't get over how many people came. I will include my portion of the eulogy because several people who were not there have wanted to know what I said, hopefully I can get some pictures, I didn't think to take any. sometimes your parents are suppose to remind you of still like taking pictures of the family and so . . . a few things got missed. I also hope to get my brothers part of the eulogy and perhaps sum up my brother in law Ben's remarks. Ryan pounded the Organ and it was AWESOME. I jumped at first thinking he had messed up and then remembered, "no, he just plays it that loud." I loved every minute of it. We also had Bridge over Troubled Water sang, a male/female duet by a girl in the stake and her father with was also amazing and Brandi's good friend played Pachabel's "Canon in D" which has made me cry every time I have heard it since I was four years old, except that time. It was incredible and I honestly loved every minute of it. As the five of us traveled to the gravesite behind the motorcyclists that rode their bikes in tribute (so touching for them to come out and do that, especially the good friends who had ridden or looked forward to riding with my parents) we all remarked how much we enjoyed the funeral and would honestly love to go back and do it again. It was beautiful. We sang "How Great Thou Art" just as we had at my dad's father's and my mom's mother's funerals and then also sang "Our Savior's Love". I wish I could just put a video on here, it was that special. And yes, I will have to re-write this whole post, but I got some ideas down.

New Life In Flagstaff

DISCLAIMER: This is Dan as opposed to the usual author of this blog. I wanted to do an entry to describe some of the fun things we have done since arriving in Flagstaff. The town itself is great with not too many people and PLENTY of outdoor activities.

Flagstaff and the surrounding areas have a wide variety of climates and landscapes ranging from the largest contiguous ponderosa forest in the U.S. to the barren dessert that most people associate with Arizona. Since arriving we have gone hiking (albeit short hikes with Shad and Solo) and biking several times.

We have hung out at the park across the street quite frequently (at the request of our son and dog). Shad likes to ride his bike in the playground bark and I’m pretty sure it’s because he thinks he is mountain biking. He lifts his front tire and pretends to jump off of stuff with the bike. We have also had good friends to come visit and spend time. Some of the coolest things we have done involve places that we have gone to see.

My personal favorite was the safari with many of the animals from Africa. We were able to see a lot of animals up close and even feed a giraffe. Even more interesting we were able to see the park staff play with untrained tigers and bears in an enclosed area. It was amazing to see and afterwards the staff talked about how there aren’t any other parks open to the public that play with those animals the way that they do. I will include pictures and video because it was pretty indescribable.

We went to see a lake that is a short ways away and in the middle of the forested area. Shad enjoyed throwing rocks in the lake while we were there but I don't think the fishermen enjoyed his efforts as much.

We have been able to visit the Arizona Snowbowl, the local ski resort. It is pretty hokey compared with the resorts in the Salt Lake area but it’s a great bike ride so no complaints here.

We also visited the Grand Canyon. For anyone that’s been there they know how breathtaking it is and for others I would encourage you to go. It’s only about an hour and a half away so I’m sure we will visit it again and cover more ground (we were only there for about 4 hours).

Shads favorite things about the Grand Canyon in this order: The shuttle bus, a squirrel that wanted a snack, a lizard, jumping on rocks and a bird. Was there something else there he was suppose to notice? Anyways, things have gone reasonably smooth with the transition and Flagstaff really seems to fit our little family.

Hardest Day of My Life

Tuesday July 5th we went out with Dan's family to Sand Hollow and had a great time enjoying the sunshine, water and each other. I spent a lot of time swimming with Shad and couldn't help but think of the countless number of peaceful happy afternoons I had spent as a kid doing the same thing. Growing up water-skiing we spent most Saturdays on the lake. When the water got choppy in the afternoon and we were all too beat up to tube anymore we would go find a quiet peaceful channel to anchor the boat and nap and swim for a while. My family all admits it was our favorite thing to do together. That Tuesday I was picturing swimming in a cove with a little waterfall where the salamanders swim in the shallows by the flowers and my parents and us kids all so happy while my dad laid in the boat with a towel over his head and said how it was heavenly to be there. It was a great afternoon where I contemplated some beautiful memories. After we finished up at the lake we headed back to our condo in St George and got cleaned up. My sister happened to be in St George that weekend as well and stopped by to show us the way to her Father in laws house so we could hang out and see each other since we coincidentally were both in town. We headed over there and were enjoying sitting out in the shade and talking while the kids played. We then headed inside to help with Dinner. While inside Brandi's phone started ringing. Oddly, it was our older brother Ryan. He rarely calls Brandi so she waved at me playfully to follow her as she answered chipperly saying "I am only answering because I am SO curious as to why you would be calling me." He was bawling, and I overheard him say something about "horrible accident" and "neither of them made it." At first I thought he was making a suicide call, or both of his dogs had been hurt or anything but what was really happening. Brandi started crying and screaming and telling Ryan to quit lying to her and it isn't funny and I knew something was seriously wrong. I ran in the other room and shakily called mom's phone. A familiar male voice answered and I relaxed thinking, "everything must be okay if dad is answering," when it hit me that it wasn't my dad on the phone. My uncle Jeff had answered and was now telling me how sorry he was. My parents were killed in a motorcycle accident July 5th 2011 between 3:30 and 4:00 PM outside Libby Montana. The last two and a half weeks have been spent in Oregon with my family preparing and carrying out the funeral and burial and taking care of things for their house and business. I can't express how grateful I am for my knowledge of the gospel of Jesus Christ and know the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is true. My parents are together and I am sealed to them for eternity. As painful as this separation is I have been surrounded by angels since that Tuesday afternoon. I can say that the peace and joy of being watched over and cared for by a loving Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ with the comfort of the Holy Ghost and earthly angels, such as the family that was with them at the time my parents passed on to the other side and those who flocked to be with us in our time of need, has been greater than the pain of that day. I have never been so overcome with love from others as walking into their funeral service and being surrounded by over one thousand people who knew and loved them. My heart was full of gratitude for that support and expression of Christlike charity. I am grateful for the knowledge that I have and pray that I can live a life to not only make my mom and dad proud, but so others can know my parents through me and the legacy they have left behind.

Fourth of July Weekend

I will post about our weekend when we are settled in Arizona, I wanted to keep things chronological but need to get a few things taken care of first.

Hooding Ceremony

For those of who who don't know, Dan doesn't really like graduations. In fact, the only graduation he had ever attended before now was my graduation from BYU. Yes, he skipped all of his siblings and his own high school graduation and his own graduation from UVU. He isn't really into the pomp, circumstance and ridiculous clothes. For my own part, imagining myself wearing that college cap and gown and actually being done got me through some of my worst classes, but for Dan the accomplishment was in the doing I guess.

So. . .he had absolutely no intention of going to graduation this time around either. However, then he got some horrible news. There is a hooding ceremony. Not only do you have to wear ridiculous clothes in front of everyone, you actually have to have someone else put it on for you in front of a crowd of people. Of course, he figured he would skip that too. . .and then found out that it was only his program, a very small group, and it would be offensive to faculty and his cohort to skip out. For the sake of being inconspicuous he had to put on the silly costume and go be conspicuous. To be fair, it was a bit of an awkward ceremony. However, I do think it was nice to take the time to celebrate the accomplishment and have some closure on this chapter of our life. In keeping with tradition, he skipped actual graduation.

We debated for a while whether or not to take Shad to a formal affair that he wouldn't understand or remember but decided we wanted him there for our own sake. He has been a part of this journey too so we wanted him included. Dan's parents and grandparents came as well as my own parents. After the ceremony they had hors d'oeuvres and a wine bar. We skipped out on the alcohol (having my first drink that evening probably would have been pretty ugly) obviously but the food was pretty amazing.

Shad quickly figured out that supplying raspberry jam and blankets is certainly not the only things Grandma Joy does well. Afterwards we headed to dinner at a chinese place and had a nice time visiting and relaxing. Shad had a terrific time directing traffic from the grass by the parking lot too, he was yelling, waving his arms, jumping, having a great time and looking hilarious.

When my dad graduated dental school he put his cap on my mom's head and told her something to the effect that it was her graduation too due to all the sacrifices she made to support him through it. They made sure to get a picture and talking about it makes my mom cry to this day. It was a small gesture that showed how much he appreciated her and understood what she had been through in those three years as well. Both my parents really wanted to recreate that picture with Dan and I. I think it was their way of saying they understood that as a married couple school is a joint effort.

Hopefully, this inspires Shad to start young and dream big. He's got big shoes to fill.

The next evening we went out and had more of a celebratory dinner with all the adults in our families that were here but I will post that separately. We also both took the whole weekend off and went to the zoo, got out on our bikes, and spent A LOT of time both with and as a family. It was such a fun weekend and more relaxed than we have been in a long time now.

FOR RENT

Sorry I have been missing from the blogging world for a while. Dan has finished up classes and passed his Thesis defense so we are now enjoying actually having some time together as a family each Wednesday and getting ready to move in August. It has been great to have a whole day to just hang out together- a luxury we haven't had for a few years now.

We will be renting our condo when we move and would like to have great, responsible, honest people. If you know of anyone send them our way. We are asking $975/mo for our 1230 sq ft. 3bed 2 bath condo. Laundry room with electric washer/dryer hook-ups. No smoking, $1000 deposit. 1 car garage with shelves, tons of indoor storage. Huge walk-in master closet. Also has swimming pool, fitness center, playground and clubhouse that can be reserved.

Great neighborhood with seven parks in walking distance. We have had some interest but haven't signed anything yet. Feel free to e-mail with more questions! Here are some pictures: